Funny Mummy: January 2012- Twits the Season
Posted by: Sara Hodge on: 2012-01-25 Permanent Link: Funny Mummy: January 2012- Twits the Season
Funny Mummy: January, 2012
By: Kathy Buckworth
Twits the Season
Let’s face it, if you’re a Mom with a newborn you may as well give in and embrace the world of Twitter, and chat online at 2am instead of watching those info-mercials. If you haven’t entered the world of Twitter yet, make 2012 the year to get online and in the know. Worried about what to expect? I’ve prepared a handy round up of all the Tweets you’ve been missing this past year, as they relate to kids, house, home, and husband, so you’ll be caught up. Ready? Here we go:
- Moms don’t sleep, and the first thing they do when they’re not sleeping is to Tweet out the fact that they’re not sleeping. Which causes them to stay awake longer. Which they will also Tweet about the next morning. And occasionally throughout the day, as they’re also not napping.
- None of us exercise enough, according to our outside voices on Twitter. And the ones that do work out, as a rule, we don’t like. They’re just bragging about it. It’s not motivating at all. (You might want to go back to watching late night TV ads for Thigh Masters if the “Fitter Twitter” Tweets get to be too much for you.)
- If you want reinforcement to have that next glass of wine, eat that extra piece of chocolate, to blow off the lunch date with that Mom down the street you really don’t like, or to prove once and for all your husband can’t do anything right, you’ve come to the right place. Vent ladies, vent. For support and for that extra piece of chocolate. (Just don’t expect any virtual pats on the back when you try to work it off the next day.)
- People really don’t Tweet about what they had for breakfast. Unless they take a picture of it first. Don’t even get me started on dinner. Or snacks during Glee, Real Housewives, or The Biggest Loser.
And because the New Year always has us thinking about resolutions – things we will stop and start doing to have a better year – I’ll let you learn from my mistakes and share my own personal twi-resolutions on what to stop:
1. Tweeting out any remarks, photos, or comments that in any way suggest a nine year old boy is still “cute” or “adorable”. He’s a Jedi Warrior (awww how cute is that?).
2. Tweeting out any type of bodily function that any children have. It’s really not necessary. This type of thing goes on ALL THE TIME. (The functions, not the Tweeting. Ok, both.)
3. Tweeting out something that describes a situation that is unfortunate, but happens to all of us, and then ending it with “That.” For example “You know when it takes you 8 hours to make dinner and the kids eat it in 2? That.” I know, right? Boring. That.
Run out of things to say? No worries. You can always Tweet about what you just bought on the Home Shopping Channel at 2am. A “Tweep” will then back you up on it, and convince you to grab a glass of wine while you’re doing it. Because that’s the way we Tw-roll.
When not writing down everything her kids say, Kathy is hard at work on her next book, “I Am So The Boss Of You”, due out with McClelland & Stewart, Spring, 2013. Follow Kathy on twitter at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth , and visit www.kathybuckworth.com
About the Author
Photo by CL Buchanan Photography
Kathy Buckworth is an award winning writer, public speaker, and television personality. She is the author of five books, including “The BlackBerry Diaries: Adventures in Modern Motherhood” and her latest, “Shut Up and Eat:Tales of Chicken, Children & Chardonnay”. She is a feature writer for Sympatico.ca in their parenting, travel, and auto sections, and is also a columnist for ParentsCanada, Womens Post, Ottawa Families, Dabble Magazine, and GoodLife. She also regularly contributes to national magazines such as Canadian Families, Disney Playhouse, and Oh Baby. Her monthly “Funny Mummy” column appears on 25+ websites across North America. She is a parenting correspondent for CTVNewsChannel, and appears on shows such as CityLine and The Marilyn Denis Show.
Kathy is the only two time winner of the Professional Writers Association of Canada Award for Excellence in Humour, and is the 2010 recipient of the Mississauga Arts Award for Established Literary Arts. She is the Managing Director of 4WordsComm.com and has over 18 years of corporate marketing experience, with CIBC, Royal Bank, Telus and Coca Cola Foods. She has acted as corporate/media spokesperson/social media consultant for blue chip companies such as Procter & Gamble, Research In Motion, Presidents Choice Financial and LeapFrog Toys. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow along at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth
Kathy’s latest book, “Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay” can be found at bookstores and online, everywhere.
Check out our review of Kathy’s book, “Shut Up and Eat” here
Other Funny Mummy articles on Mums ‘n Chums:
Zombie Moms: Not Just for Newborns
Parenting: The Ultimate Workout
Watch Kathy discuss the latest hot parenting topics every Friday at 11:20am on CTVNewschannel.
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